By Jacque Visagie · Sexuality & Self-Acceptance

You may have built a life that matters to you: a relationship, a family, friendships, a business or a place in your community. Now there is something about your sexuality that you want to understand, acknowledge or share.

And a question keeps coming back: Where do I begin when so much of my life is already established?

I came to terms with my sexuality as an adult and came out after nearly two decades of marriage. Through that change, I was still a father, a business owner and someone other people depended on.

I share that because I know how closely identity and responsibility can sit together. Your circumstances will be different from mine. The decisions you make need to belong to you.

If you're a man considering coming out later in life, I would start by separating four questions:

• What do I understand about myself?
• What am I ready to share?
• Who would I choose to tell?
• What support would help me handle that conversation and wh
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By Jacque Visagie · Midlife & Life Direction

You look at the week ahead and know exactly what everyone needs from you.

The work that needs finishing. The people you need to get back to. The responsibilities that will still be there on Monday morning.

But ask yourself what you want the next part of your life to look like, and the answer is less clear.

Perhaps something has changed: a relationship, your work, your role as a father. Perhaps your circumstances look much the same, but the future you used to work towards no longer feels like something you want.

Then comes the thought: “I'm 40. Surely I should have figured this out by now.”

If you're feeling lost at 40, I'd start by choosing one part of your life that needs attention. Name the uncertainty, look at what you actually know and take a step that helps you understand your options.

You can begin before you know where all of this will lead.

What do you mean when you say you feel lost?

If we were sitting together, this is whe...

By Jacque Visagie · Personal Leadership & High Performance

You can meet a deadline. You can be there when someone needs you. You can carry a surprising amount of responsibility. Yet the thing you said you would do for yourself keeps getting pushed to tomorrow.

Eventually, you start asking: “Why can't I stay consistent?”

If that sounds familiar, I want you to look closely at the commitment you're trying to keep. It may be too vague. You may have given it time you don't actually have. You may be avoiding something uncomfortable. Or you may have a plan for starting, with no plan for what happens when your week goes wrong.

Those possibilities need different responses. Calling yourself undisciplined doesn't tell you which one deserves your attention.

After more than 16 years in transformation and high-performance coaching, this is where I want to start with you: let's make the promise specific enough to examine, realistic enough to practise and important enough to protect.

Look at the...